Flash Animations and Games
Shit Poem
Summertime and I’m coming up the Garden State Parkway
Hit major stop crawl traffic coming outa Wildwood
Simultaneously get an Irresistible urge to shit
No cover along this stretch
Slowly the pressure builds
Squeezing the sphincter so hard I’m talking to myself
Motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker…
I see some lightly wooded area coming up
The conclusion is foregone: Public Defecation
Seems Mr asshole somehow sees it too,’cause he pumps up the pressure…
Fuck
No tissues,no old McD’s napkins in the glovebox…
Fuck it
Pull over onto the grass,slam it into park
And do a keystone cops fast forward ducktrot toward the bushes
Losing a flipflop in the process,grabbing a pinetree for support…
Whoosh
Saturn 5 liquid fuel rocketlike…
I use the psychology of the Ostrich
Close my eyes so I can’t see anyone
And nobody can see me…
Yeah,right
Traffic aint passing by,it’s at a standstill
And right in front of me,maybe 25 feet away with front row seats
Are half a dozen kids ,faces pressed to the minivan windows
Eyes wide,mouths in little circles making “mommy what’s the man doing” sounds…
I grab a handful of leaves and smear the shit over my ass
Hop in the car sweaty,stinky and humiliated and drive a quarter mile or so up the shoulder and force my way back into line…
traffic is still crawling and my asscrack is itching from all the twigs and whatnot,so i pull over again
someplace with more privacy,like bigger trees,find an old sock or something in the trunk,clean up a bit more and get on the road again..
only to look over and see the same van and the same kids waving at me...
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Check out some other texts and stories!
Must read classics: The Phantom Shitter, Biggest Shit, Fun Facts 1, Fun Facts 2, How to Wreck a Pub, Secret Shitting Gone Sour. Check out more stories and text!
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