Biggest Shit

From: steve smiley [hhsmiley@hotmail.com]
Subject: Reader_Mail

Stile and all,

I just felt the need to share a recent experience I had. I'm employed at a well known home improvement warehouse. Last week it was our turn to clean the shitters at night. I received a cryptic phone call from another employee instructing me to "go check out stall number three" in the men's bathroom. They quickly hung up before I could ask why. I had to check it out though, and was greeted by one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Words can not do justice to the sight that I beheld. It was the single largest piece of shit that I have ever seen in my life. I was not aware that a human being could produce a grogan of such magnitude. It was more than a foot long and close to six inches in diameter. It looked for all the world like a great brown two-liter bottle staring up at me out of the bowl.

Much of the log was jutting out of the water and it looked like it would almost reach the bowl rim itself. I flushed the toilet a couple of times, but the beast just sat there, unmoved, and appeared to be taunting me. It was clearly not only enormous, but quite hard as well. Comparatively speaking it was definitely more rock than mud in composition. By this time every male employee (and a couple of females too) had been in to gaze in utter amazement at the sheer girth of the great brown trunk of shite. One even
managed a picture or two with a disposable camera. I've sent a copy so that others here may share in my bafflemnt at how such a thing could even exist.

But, we had a duty to perform and we had to get rid of it somehow. But how? Taking it out of the toilet was not an option as it could be dropped, or God forbid, come into actual physical contact with one of us. One thing was certain though, it was simply too large and rigid to go down in its current form. The first attempt at dislodging the giant thing was a chemical strike in which an entire gallon of liquid plumber was poured into the toilet in an attempt to break the turd up. An hour later this had managed only to
decrease the girth of the poo by an inch or so, and it was still in one solid, massive piece. In the end, myself and another intrepid employee managed to break it into smaller chunks with a stick (a long one). Retching and gagging all the while, we at last managed to flush the beast. We were all strangely dissappointed, however, in ruining what was obviously a work of great effort on someone's part, and a true natural wonder and testament to the human anus' ability to expand. This thing would undoubtedly have given even the goatse man cause to strain and break into a sweat. I find myself wondering just what kind of poor soul is cursed to take such monstrous dumps.

I know it would suck if I had to break my poo up with a stick every time I shat just to get it to flush. A lot of folks may wonder, "why is he going on and on about a piece of feces?". If you had seen the SIZE of that godammed thing you would no longer wonder. While utterly disgusting, the sheer mass of the great grogan was hard to get our minds around, and as such, was quite fascinating. If you're on this site, images of feces in various forms will probably be nothing new to you, but this is certainly something special. I am actually disappointed by the picture's inability to convey the gigantitude of the crap. Keep in mind it's a big commercial type terlet, and that the entire bottom of the bowl is covered, and that the turd is clearly much wider than the drain hole of the commode.

Click here for the picture of Mr. Turd.

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