How to have fun in Cuba
July 12th, 2010 / Comments Off / by FM
I just got back from a once-in-a-lifetime trip to old Havana. It’s no secret that the Castro regime is desperate for hard currency (especially U.S. dollars). I’d also heard that the Cuban Ministry of Tourism was pulling out all the stops in a last-ditch effort to attract white upper class U.S. males (translation: disposable income) who were seeking nontraditional vacations.
Fellow members of the above target group, stop and think a bit about what you’d like in a no holds barred tropical vacation:
- Smooth, aged in wood, dark rums for around $2 a bottle?
- Absolutely stunning senoritas who do anything you want for $100 a night, or if you’re on a budget, a first-class blow job for $20, no extra charge for a facial cumshot?
- Primo Columbia flake cocaine at $500 per oz? This is absolutely fresh unstepped-on high quality nose candy – minimum 95% purity. WARNING: Do not, under any circumstances, try to leave Cuba with even a trace of this shit on you.
- A wild deep sea fishing expedition where you fish with hand grenades and belt fed machine guns?
Me and a couple of guys went out one night clubin. We were all having a good time dancing with some hotties having a few drinks, getting drunker than fuck! Well one of my friends hooked up with this black chick and they decided to take off a little bit earlier then the rest of us and go back to his place. He takes her back to his place and puts on the Marvin Gaye CD to make it romantic! Just wait to hear how romantic this shit gets. So they are getting it on and he decides he wants to fuck her in the ass! He’s fucking her in both holes and finish’s while he doing her in the ass right. She stays the night and leaves the next morning. When he wakes up he said his dick was hurting him really bad. He was really wigging it and went directly to the doctor to get tested for an STD since he only knew this chick for maybe an hour before having some gross ass fucking sex with her. The doc does all the test he can on him and gets the results and confirms that he’s clean. He tells my friend that if his dick is still hurting to after a few days to come back. Well he lets it sit for a few days right? And like 3 days later his dick is all fucking purple and shit! He is really freaked out now, he’s calling me all physc’d out afraid their going to have to cut his shit right off! So I go with him back to the doctor and they examine it and take some x-rays of his stuff. The doc comes back in and tells him that he has a chili seed stuck up his pisshole, and that it’s irritating his cock. So they have to go in and remove it surgically I guess… I didn’t ask how they got it out. So the point is, is that he got that chili seed while ass fucking her. I guess she had a turd up there waiting to come out with a few chili seeds stuck in her shit then right?
